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hey im new here - For a good cry, or a happy sigh

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Previous Entry hey im new here Apr. 13th, 2005 @ 08:29 pm Next Entry
Hey,i'm Vicki,i'm 13.This community is just my thing!Magic and dreams.I love all things magical,spooky or not.I love writing poetry and making up legends.I quite often use gods in them,but mostly magical creatures such as water kelpies,faeries or fairys whichever you spell it and pixies/brownies.They are mostly set in scotland too,but in ancient times so i get to make up a god or two to use;)

Title: forbidden love
Fandom: (if any):umm,i'm so thick i don’t know what this means.i’ve never heard of a fandom..
Rating:G i would think
Categories:made up legend
Other info:its about a unicorn who falls in love with a water kelpie,water kelpies are a thing of the devil according to legend, but this one is young and does not know to hate everything but its own.a water kelpie drawing-http://home.att.net/~cameron-ow/images/Horse3.GIF,

anyway onto the story.

Forbidden Love

Anya was drinking by the water in the moonlight when she was disturbed by a splashing noise.She looked out into the deep cool loch,in a land which was then called Scotia.

it was then she saw it,a beautiful blue horse that seemed to have a fish like tail.Never before had she seen a creature so graceful in the water,apart from the great monster living in the loch in the north.

She called out to it.
"hello?Hello?What are you?"

Not the perfect choice of words for a meeting of a creature that was of the devil but this one was young and inexperienced.it and not been told to hate.

It came to shore.It was a rare sight to see kelpies on land.They are mostly afraid of predators to come ashore.But again,such a young kelpie was yet to learn the dangers.They instantly clicked.They were perfect for each other and they saw it too.They were in love.

Once the kelpie got back to its parents he told them about the beautiful unicorn.His parents instantly clipped him with their hooves.

"You do NOT mix with the land animals!!!They are dangerous!for a hundred or so years i have been living in fear,and so have some of the other seniors!"

Kelpies,along with unicorns,lived for hundreds of years,and can see more in a lifetime than a man will see in his.They were a soft powdery white colour,rather like unicorns.They were a lot like unicorns,but refused to see it.The young kelpie,who was named Rory was forbidden to go to the surface except for school in the island.

The loch they were in was Loch Katrine.It had brownies and pixies on one side,(just don’t bother them when they are in their important meetings;)),on one hill,unicorns by the small waterfall and kelpies in the lake and islands.The picturesque(sp?) landscape was more than anyone could imagine.In those ancient days the land was undisturbed,and untouched.A paradise.

Back on the shore the unicorns too had forbidden Anya to see Eragorn.

"water kelpies have never mixed with unicorns,and never will"They had put it simply.Anya was heartbroken.But the two young lovers had found a way to see each other.There was an abandoned island near the shore.Unicorns,despite their appearance,are brilliant swimmers,so in the dead of night,by the light of the silvery moon,they meet.They continued this way for years before the decided on a drastic decision.They were to leave.There are many small streams leading away from loch katrine,so even if Rory was found to have escaped,there are hundreds of streams to search,and hundreds of streams leading from them.Anya was to follow on foot.

They eventually found a wonderful place to live.It was an underground cave with an air pocket with a ledge.So both kelpie and unicorn could live in safety.They befriended a group of porpoises who often came with news of the search to find them,but one day there was terrible news.a single porpoise emerged covered in wounds.It bore the news that a war had been declared between kelpies and unicorns.Each side had blamed the opposite for the disappearance of the young couple,and had decided that a war was the only way to determine the true victor.Then the porpoise went back into the water and never saw the couple again,for the wound had caused it to pass into eternity.

The couple now deeply resented the fact that they were the ones that started it,and decided they had to stop the war by going back.

It was a long and tiring journey but eventually the arrived at Loch Katrine.But the two sides were not pleased to see them.They had to punish them,so the kelpies killed Anya and left Rory to grieve.And even though Anya was from the unicorns they agreed this was suitable punishment,but regardless of that,they kept on fighting.

In the end,when the war was won,the unicorns were wiped out.That is why we never see them now,but te kelpies are still there and waiting for another land animal to live.but the kelpies ghost lingers on,and on a cold,yet evening,when a storm is brewing,rather like the weather of that fateful night when an innocent life was taken,you can here a slow meloanchory(sp?) song coming up from the loch,as a single white water kelpie that has passed into eternity laments for his lost lover.

so what did you think?

Current Mood: accomplished
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Date:April 13th, 2005 09:09 pm (UTC)
Welcome to Imagine and Dream! I hope you like it here.

Your story was wonderful, and so sad. I almost cried at the end. With some prrofreading I think it could be absolutely amazing.

P.S. "Fandom" only applies if your story is fanfiction, which means you've written a story that takes place in a universe made up by another author, such as the Harry Potter universe, the Lord of the Rings universe, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe, etc.
Date:April 14th, 2005 03:23 pm (UTC)
ohhh right,then its a none;)thanks.i made it up especcially for this community,i wasnt sure how it would turn out
Date:April 14th, 2005 10:27 pm (UTC)
Really good! I think you should embellish it with lots of details.
Date:April 15th, 2005 02:54 pm (UTC)
yeh.it was a bit rushed because while i was writing it i had to have a lot of breaks,like my parents wanted me to go to the shops,and ten my rat died so by the time id finished it was about 10pm,and i had to get off the computer;)
Date:April 15th, 2005 04:22 pm (UTC)
OOOhhh! Your rat died! I'm so sorry :(
We have two fancy rats now. Our most beloved one died last year.
Date:April 15th, 2005 07:34 pm (UTC)
we had two too.they were fancy rats;)one was white with a black 'hood' and three black dots.he died on christmas day.he was called coco

fredy was a sandy coloured fancy rat,he was sooo soft.he loved cuddles,but he had pink eyes so he went blind and bit everyone exept mum.he died on wednesday.

i loved them but they were in pain from a respirity(sp?) disease and they are buried together.
Date:April 16th, 2005 02:09 am (UTC)
thats very sad to hear.
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Date:April 20th, 2005 07:34 pm (UTC)
Sorry. But
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